Those that know me, know I became a Christian when I was 5. My paternal grandmother showed me God, Jesus and how much He loves me.
Those who know me also know I Don't Hug! Well, I do hug my kids and hubby, but I just don't like hugging anyone else. That's right, not my parents, not my good friends - I tense up every time.
I'm fairly certain I know the reason why I don't hug guys (that I'm not ready to share); and as for the girls.... I know of two things that lead to No Hugging.
- when I was 10 I was a hugging girl. Then I met some girls that were popular. Inviting me into their fold. First one of them spread rumors about me starting a serious spiral into me getting badly bullied. Then we went to the lake and played on inner tubes. This group of girls were hugging me, telling me what a great friend I was and then pushed me under the water and held me there until I started to black out....
- The other reason has two consequences from the experience. My mom was a big part of our church, giving of her time freely and often. I thought the church was a safe place. My mom would receive boxes of cloths for her to repair and wash and then send to donations. As a perk for helping my mom, my siblings and I got to pick one or two items from the box. One day I wore one of these exciting new outfits to church. One of the ladies I looked up to (and hugged often) said to me in front of many people, "How do you like that outfit? It was my daughters and she didn't want it any more. I'm glad someone in your standing can appreciate our generosity. It's nice to have free things from others, isn't it?" what did I learn from this? Don't trust adults outside of family and church isn't fun or safe anymore.
I do try to get past these things, but when you get burned enough, its just easier to stand back.
Then after a few teenage years of ups and downs, I moved to Calgary, AB. When I came to Calgary, I was definitely in a spiritual wilderness - until stirrings in my heart in 1992 after I met Rob (who is now my husband). At the time we met, he believed in God, but didn't know if he was a Christian. We read some bible stories together, went to church with my mom at Easter.
I told Rob I was concerned that he didn't know if he was a Christen and he and I prayed together as Rob accepted Jesus into his heart.
Due to earlier experiences and some reading I had done over the years, I didn't believe we needed to go to church; as God doesn't take attendance, he's everywhere. Especially in your heart.
Then my parents moved to Vulcan from Calgary and because she was so active in this church I agreed to do a favor for my mom and attend her church at least once a month. The purpose was to share her news with her friends from church and vice versa.
I got sucked in pretty fast. This church was different. I attended, by myself for a few months, at once a month intervals, then every other week. My daughter asked to come, then my son and finally in 2009 we were coming to church as a family.
All the while I could feel God working in my heart. I became excited to come to church! I found myself falling in love with God all over again! Better yet, my family was too and in 2012 we were baptized as a family, all our family serves in the church.
I'm not going to fib. There have been some set backs. I tried to start a women's bible study group, it only had sparatic attendance and went OK, but God said to stop for now, its not time.
Now I frequently find myself overflowing with love and the spirit - I need to get it out!
So I am going to do a weekly Christian blog post and a second weekly post to do with my 'mom stuff'. I hope you will join me and share your feelings and comments below.
Thanks and God Bless you and yours!
Oh, and to the ladies at my current church - I'm working on this hugging thing - please be patient with me!
Love Valerie
